I Am the Young Voter

Dear every political candidate [ever?],

I am the young voter.

You need me a lot more than I need you. Maybe someday that will change, but as I learn to properly “Adult” you’re just another unrelatable, probably-rich guy ignoring me. Let me break it down for you…

I am generally apolitical as it is, but already totally jaded on your ability to make any real changes. All those promises sound totally great, but how are you actually going to accomplish them? It's like you've skipped all the hard work and just hope that the end result will appear. Hence, you’re yet another spoke on a broken wheel that spins in constant turmoil. You do have some pretty memorial campaign slogans, though. Buzzwords, yeah!!

I’m too busy with my own affairs (job, kids, school, health, relationships, bills, Netflix... the norm) to worry about what you propose to do to improve everyone else’s life. I totally care about many issues, just not whatever ‘hot button’ the ‘majority’ is entranced by. But you look completely non-offensive in that neutral suit with the sweet pocket square.

I will judge you only on your personality and sense of humor; your ideologies and platforms are hollow candidate-speak aimed only at quelling fears and pleasing the audience. Plus I don’t have the attention span to hear you not answer the question at hand. Your rope-a-dope skills are pretty good though – it’s like you’ve trained to bob and weave around the political arena.

I think you’re well out of touch and pandering to us by shaking hands and kissing babies is all part of the game. Somehow and somewhere, you are in the pocket of an interest / lobbying group. But you seem like good downhome folk, especially in that commercial when you played catch with your son and helped the old farmer.

There's a whole generation of us who'd rather read the cliff notes and Tweets about an election than go canvas, support and shill for a candidate like you. Even when we so desperately want you to speak for us, your language just isn't ours.

Yes, I’m still set to vote, but it’s only for you so the other guy – who I like even less – doesn’t win. Your intentions are probably not evil, but I can’t be so sure. Anyway…

Congrats, by default!