A Fool's Manifesto, part I: GOD's Blueprint?

Evolution exists. Creationism exists. They co-exist, but we all exist thanks to One Eternal Being.

Here's my attempt at explaining the origins of the universe. ...This may get heavy, Doc.

Am I qualified? Of course not. But no living being really is, no matter how well read he or she may be. The wonderment of ignorance may be a convincing enough argument. GOD only knows!! Alas, I will still enter my theory into a millennium old debate...

In the beginning...GOD added the ingredients with a big bang (not a big 'bam', Emeril) and let the recipe cook itself for millions of years, periodically stirring the pot (plague, anyone?) or dropping in an extra spice or two (genetic mutations a la mode?). GOD is the supreme chef (or scientist) with the Earth serving as the ultimate mixing bowl (or test tube). Has this unnecessarily mixed metaphor thoroughly confused you yet? Don't worry, there's still time.

To break it down, creationism happened and is still happening by the way of evolution. The Supreme Being molded the Earth by introducing the basic elements, which went on to form the seas, mountains, etc. Several varieties of simple living organisms took to the water, the land and the sky changing over generations to best adapt to the evolving (and still growing) planet. Dinosaurs couldn't hack it, obviously. The plants and animals around today are the survivors from Day One, some hardly changed with others completely unrecognizable from their original creation.

Anyway, this process may have taken six days (with rest on the seventh)...but a GOD-day likely spans thousands of Earth years, not the 24-hour day we know. Day is a relative term we can grasp. Much like how GOD created man in GOD's image.

GOD is indeed too much of a concept for a mere, mortal human to even begin to understand, even relatively. So the common thought is that us as people are the chosen species, born with the powers of reason, thought, conscience and many more capacities not shared by those we share the planet with. I'm not sure if all dogs go to Heaven, but the souls we as human possess give us the capability to enjoy GOD eternally after discovering and conquering all of life's lessons on the moving and changing Earth. Hence humanity was spawned from GOD in GOD's image (more on this concept in my next blog!!)

Diving into the pseudo-philosophical and recalling the GOD's Kitchen metaphor, how about a rationale for the mystery meat special that is the Earth's and its relation to us:

The dish we're served isn't always the tastiest, as some ingredients go rotten or aren't even ripe yet at the time they're added to the stew. But in this case, the Chef also cultivated and gardened all the ingredients and knew them well. So maybe that was part of the plan- to harden the human palette so that we don't expect everything to be the most divine and sweetly flavored and when we do get a bite of heaven, we can appreciate it more. (The Adam, Eve and the fruit from Tree of Life story is a literal example of this... scripted to go bad.)

Beauty is circumstantial and subjective to the eye of the beholder, as is taste. But everything has a purpose and is appreciated by someone's taste buds. So compliments to the Cook!